Category Archives: Discouraged

The Age of Rude ?

She stared through my face as if she never saw me –  stunned, I waited. Maybe there was a mistake. Maybe I was expecting too much, but the woman wouldn’t look at me, wouldn’t acknowledge my presence. It was as if I did not exist.

The next day we met again, this time in an auditorium. She talked to everyone else, but not even a nodding good-morning hint at me, as if I weren’t there.  These were new family friends, not even distant relatives, no histories exchanged. No I hadn’t stolen her best dress at school, no I wasn’t an artist rival, nothing. She was a mom like me, a citizen of this same earth, but she wouldn’t look at me.

Its possible she was just tired, or thought I had nothing of use to say to her, or be. Is possible she was having a bad day, is possible she was ill, is possible she didn’t like my face, or hairstyle, or work.

But the question followed me all day and night, it stood there between my mirror and me the next morning, it sat in my toothpaste and hair brush, my shoes and sandwich.

I asked my family if I was unlikable, I asked the dishes and newspapers, asked my morning tea and sadding– heart. Yeah Sadding. Like Madding Crowd. 

This morning, I looked at images from 2016, and most of them were images of loneliness. Someone somewhere was either hurtful or being hurt. Where are the dancers and restaurateurs ? The movers and shakers are all earthquake or badder news. You must pardon my grammer, its the way I feel today.

What makes a person Rude ? ss-161216-yip-18_d9b16fd06c848a2e90e3d649508758d6-nbcnews-ux-1024-900

What makes a nation Rude  ?
Why is there hate enough to birth students of Hate ? I do not know, but look at the pictures. There’s a few left, waiting for Hope

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I’m ashamed to even complain of small insults …. …

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What made something as beautiful as a human heart, such a refugee

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We spare no one, nothing, to bless our own business

The day will come, only the dead will be envied. ss-161216-yip-17_d1a89f3c20634ba4f5070806a97c45d2-nbcnews-ux-1024-900

Are we prepared ? Sure, this isn’t about Christmas trees. Should it ?

It’s a ‘ madding crowd ‘  like T/ Harding said. 🙂 We ache for Laughter. We are thirsty for real food, we hurt for naked joys – we are beggars of joy, peace. Sellers of smiles, agents of change like never before. We do not mean to be Rude. We just dont know any other way to get through the day.  There are ravines between us. Misunderstanding. Gossip. Evil schedules, agenda. we murder with sweet tongues. ss-161216-yip-43_b9bc04da4ce709297b898c6d66a0781c-nbcnews-ux-1024-900

These are the days we should cherish though. Colours have never been this beautiful. Movies, music, books, people, speeches – they are all pretty moving.

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We as a human race are more sensitive than ever before, more shaken, more privileged, more torn, more wise, more expressive, more cunning, shrewd, street smart, savvy, we are sharper, richer, faster, we are at our most beautiful, yes we are….

ss-161216-yip-14_ac305bcd00109045f2d8afa7700d200a-nbcnews-ux-1024-900ss-161216-yip-50_b9bc04da4ce709297b898c6d66a0781c-nbcnews-ux-1024-900                                                                                                                                Break through my Harsh ! God, we may not be Good enough for each other, but remind us that we as a Human Race are Indispensable ?                                                                                      424665_406549232738048_1671826253_n

Gift me a Smile, that I may give another today. I seem to have run out of Apps.

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Too many good things confuse me

Gul Mohar

My neighbourhood GulMohar (Flame of the forest) just this one tree broke into bloom )

Early morning walks are somethings I must never stop,

PiCourtesy RayCatcher 68-001

PiCourtesy RayCatcher

especially in May when the flowers are out and wearing Rain, like hi-fashion ear drops. People look great, smiling. I talk to strangers, they talk back. What’s this ? It is beautiful, a Peace returning. Storms wear pretty coats, gray silver lining and gentle breathing songs. Koyal. Milkmen on cycles, newspaper boys fabulous eyes fringed with lash.

I must always go on these walks. I forgave Ms Lily K for the yelling I got flunking a Maths test and how I wept all over my blue pinafore that noon after school, pigtail come loose with shock and horror….

I finally forgave her ; she looked great with the morning  light now bright in her little curls. Weird that we remember her curls now, so many dawns down the calendar since that day.

Walks should not be too long. I might bring down all my defenses, all barbed wire and put up friendly posts everywhere… uh. Just a lil walk ‘ll do. Too much heaven complicates this earthling…

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Water is still cool

full bath is out of question

just dipping my feet.

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Four Suicides over Exam results this week Bangalore

WHY ??

WHERE ARE WE GOING WRONG ??

Why is Indian Collegiate Education this expensive ? ( DONATIONS AND MANAGEMENT FEES AND CET… ) and will this post ever be noticed ?

 

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Four children committed suicide after the SSLC and PU results were announced on Tuesday, even as doctors and counsellors advised unconditional parental support to help students ease through this stressful time.

Dileep Kumar (15), the son of a contractor in Jogupalya in Ulsoor, died after swallowing pesticide at home on Monday afternoon. His friend, who saw him collapse, rushed him to a local hospital and later to Bowring Hospital, but the doctors could not revive him.

Another 19-year-old boy, Shekar, committed suicide by hanging because his younger sister did not pass her SSLC exam. This was also reported in Jogupalya area. Shekar informed her about the results and she went out, depressed. When his mother Dhanalakshmi, a daily wage worker, returned home from work, she found him dead.

A second PU student, Madhu (18), a native of Santhemarahalli in Chamarajanagar,  succumbed to burn injuries at a hospital in Mysore. She had failed in English and History.

The body of Veena, a second PU student from Tallur village of Kundapura taluk, was found in a well, after she failed in her exams.

Dr H Chandrashekar, Head, Department of Psychiatry, Bangalore Medical College and Research Institute and Victoria Hospital,   attributed suicide attempts by children to combined causes of acute depression and a lack of support from parents, along with the emotional reactions from parents as soon as the results are announced. “We get students who have received their SSLC or PUC results and attempted to kill themselves because they failed in one or more subjects. Some students take it very badly and feel that they failed their parents too as they have spent so much money on their education,” he said.

Dr Chandrashekar said parents must be careful about anxiety, depression and suicidal tendencies in their children well before the declaration of results. “Parents must be extra careful if the child is not sleeping and eating, and if the child has a past history of not taking results and failure too well,” he added.

In 2012, he counselled over 20 SSLC and PUC students at Victoria Hospital, who attempted suicide within a month of receiving their results.

Myanmar (Burma)

Image by Dietmar Temps via Flickr

John Vijay Sagar, Associate Professor, Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at NIMHANS, advised that parents must also encourage their children to receive support from their friends. “Teachers must train students in ‘problem solving’ and teach them to handle the various outcomes of their exam results,” he said.

 

 

Detail of The Death of Socrates. A disciple is...

Detail of The Death of Socrates. A disciple is handing Socrates a goblet of hemlock (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

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I love you Lord shamelessly…

yep.

what else can a girl say, but ‘I love you’  to the One who makes such a difference, even in me. Look at what You’ve done.

Look at us now. Sheltered in Your Gaze , against all odds. I went thru’ my life last night. The Mad angles and Tangles. The arrow that flew by day, the insanities of the Dark. You were there too, every time ; just concerned  that I was steadily growing blind and deaf and dumb; more judgemental, ah me at my worst, religious sounding stiff neck-me..

You looked past that, gave me a Universe, a Planet spilling with grasshoppers and new blossom. Deserts filling with roses,  songs in the storm…

I love you Lord; love the way  You love all of us, equally. Not that I appreciate that all the time y’know. Want You to ignore a few people who did this or that, but that is the way You Love.

My Lord, that’s the way You Love and it frazzles my brain, nevertheless, I love You : even if that sounds weird in this Day and Age : You never gave me rituals nor rules, not regulation, just You.

Then You gave me ‘me’ : some one I’ve taken for granted a long time. Finding You, I found the real me. Finally. Unselfish One… setting me free from boundaries I built within,

limitations ; maiming my generosity, ridiculing the wealth within, just because my spirit was unwilling to stand on bare feet, see through Blinds, Speak for those with no voice, Sing when there  was Dis-Chord.

O Perfect Love, transcending Human thought, What A Friend, What a Personality to be loved by, what a Travesty we do not see the One who Loves us like that, as if I was just one to love.

No matter what my friends say, one day we will each meet that Dawn, that Light. But even tonight, You ‘re here, in these little streets ; this space,  filling with Peace, like an unruly river, crashing boundaries and armors. Old ideas and handicapped freedom. Ah Lord God, smashing  my walls, raising my Lazarus!  Kissing my 5 loaves and 2 fish, stumping my mountains.  Valley of Shadows, tripping with angels , yeah Your Storms of Grace, exorcising my worst possible sin:  Doubting Your Special Abilities . ( Jeremiah 15)

v 19&18,20 “… unwarranted suspicions concerning My Faithfulness : regarding me as deceitful brook, waters that are uncertain, and fail..! I am with you, you : a fortified bronze wall…”

What else can a girl say, but ” I love You Lord..”

(for you MishK and Lace. .. to smashn hell and storms. God bless me too hey, as you being all that blest, don’t go makn me jealous, k 🙂

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4 words that change my life..no, 5?

Forgiveness is a big deal…

Forgiveness is:

Releasing;

setting free

this Life:

Forgiveness: The Real F-Bomb

Forgiveness

re-newed

refreshed,

new new

feet, arms, legs, toes

eyes, ears, heart…

 

Your fragrance, permeating

interceding

re-creating

everything ; speechless

I turn, embrace

faces, even my own;

ah Lord God, You who made the heavens

nothing is impossible with

You

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” Choose Life, or else… ” His still small irresistible voice…

pause-25

pause-25 (Photo credit: Christopher Robbins)

Reminders :
Yesterday a little stem
today a forest..

Tomorrow, there will be new words

new worlds even.

The more I see the more I understand

I know so little.

It is a kind of  knowledge.

Of Things outside my realm.

Yeah, in the deepest place,

there are fewer words,

that Pause, where we die or

Choose Life.

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There is so little we know about each other

English: Black Swan, Lake Monger, 2010.

Rare black swan : There is so little we know about each other

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us…. .” Marianne Williamson, see belowSimulated gravitational lensing (black hole go...
Image via Wikipedia 

1.

 

 

It is okay,

to be afraid,

say I  am ready to Unlearn;

hey,

I never succeeded as another inter- Genre Experiment.

I am my own:

a bit of you,

My first Black Tulip

I am who I am ( Black Tulip: Power&Strength)

and  Him. And This.

It is okay,

to walk away from destruction : what is there that

we do not  know; even  Unborn Foetus- Bone-

and- Skin display Our Sin :

Who inherits these Crimes We Play,

Who Inhale what We Decay?

Our Babies wear this War

or Peace.

Uh- oh.

 

 

 

2.

 

Is it good  to not Up-date? ( Change , re-arrange ) ?

What is  ” Never Not Too Late,

What is, ” ..never not an option,

to  not search: Us, Him, We, Me..?”

Together We Feast, We die alone, this I know;

de-linked, Links:

We

are not just Culture- Cores,

we are Mixed Tribe – Manicure-ers of Feet

of Clay.

Blood – Ash Indifference.

……….

 

 

 

3.

Oh Lord,  today I saw It in the  Human face :

Excuses,Short cuts;

-Head-Bangers’ Camp-Relief- Art-lorn

Rights’ Commissions-ala – prettily dressed porn –

what goes around comes around – where

where

am I ?

I saw It Lord, took a while:

They said It had gone

with Education and Time,

e’en Soul-Soothe-Galleries and  Tangent- Rhyme;

but It is There, It is Here,

blunt  Black and White and no Debate :

the opposite of Love,

is a fallen Place;

3.

Seen  three Things today,

*  Of Lies & Gore, am blissed-unafraid :

*  That the opposite of Love is not Hate.

*  And how I saw Indifference, in my face.

In my Face.

…..

A Love Hate Masquerade

Image via Wikipedia The opposite of Love is not Hate : it is Indifference

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Each of us, everyone, has a Story to Tell, 

if you would share, say ; if you care,

read on

Thank youChweetzzz!

A 24 year old boy looking out from the train’s window shouted, “Dad, look the trees are going behind!”
Dad  ( an old man ) smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old’s childish behavior with pity, suddenly he again exclaimed, “Dad, look the clouds are running with us!” .
The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man, “Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?”
The old man smiled and said, “I did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today.”
Black Swan Lake

Black Swan Lake (Photo credit: epSos.de) Each of us 7 billion and some, has a story. Getting to understand each, might scare,encourage,delight,shock,bore, thrill us to pieces; the truth will surprise...

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The Tulip nebula and Cygnus X-1 black hole" What is Man that You are mindful of him ; or the son of man, that You have visited him ...?"

" What is Man that You are mindful of him ; or the son of man, that You have visited him ...?"

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Loneliness the world’s most lethal place ?


Birthing of a star

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MY DAY WITH SUREKA  AGED 15 ? No records given to me to work with at that time, except this :

All Foster care had proved unsuccessful ;  she needed Medicare, but as concerned persons had asked for help, could I spend an hour with her/ an hour a day ? They were looking for any glimmer of Hope. The girl was intelligent, slightly abusive and please keep sharp objects or even a glass of water away from arms reach … ?

Hey I’d seen worse. Or so I thought.

” Sure, ” I replied, ” Just tell her I am someone’s mom here, waiting for the midday bell maybe..”

( Yeah tell her some of us have lived  thru’ the country’s worst riot, lived in some strange places, could walk bare feet almost  anywhere, have  breakable heart but …  love kids. Unconditionally, but ! That we are also a little ragged about the edges and in need of holiday; were shifting city and schools. With kids of our own at home each in varying shades and tones of Change and a pet cat that had gone missing and everyone was in official mourning, so could Ms Too- hot – to – handle, could you please spare me too many histrionics as I was getting unpredictable myself ?  )

Giraffe

One tall Giraffe grinned at me off the pillar to my left. Hmmmm those height giraffes. MArking off inches. Was I still 5'4" ? Johann was... ? 3 feet?Giraffe (Photo credit: gaco79) ..............................................

I was in the Library, (at school with my child of ”  Happy Feet and Fingers,”  as we called him at home ) ; had volunteered so now was working on their Editorial page and twenty odd photographs to collage into 70 + pages ;  dying for a cup of coffee. It was a hot summers’ day and so quiet you could hear the Comp !  Hoped Shashi would come by and show me some ropes with this : Computers were such bullies : they  ‘ lose’  pages you did not ” save” / commands you did not command! ………………………….god lives in yu - treo_062809_002_web

We love Friends!

contd.......................................................................I ( I hope you 're getting the lines that've somehow gotten in here. Didn't i warn you I was E_ Challenged ? Electronically challenged ? Yes you need Grace, strength, your own peace and wit, to cope with me...:)).............................................................................................................................. .Time goes I tell you. Goes goes goes.... By the time I stopped craving for that coffee, she walked in kohl smeared eyes, at least 7 hair clips and Angelina Jolie lips.

Three seconds later she was in the blue plastic chair across, giving me the twice over, half-smile and , ” So whats a softie like you, doing in a place like this, uh?”

Where’s the accent from, Sureka? ” I asked trying hard not to feel scared. The girl terrified me. I knew if I looked in her records there’d be history of violence. I was NOT in the mood for any of that.

Oh ? SO we haven’t met! I’m from the U. S. of A…  course my third foster home dumped me. Good riddance to bad rubbish you know,.. was tired of cleaning up all their dog poo.  Oh you don’t understand ? Dog  wee-wee  and  the likes ! Ha Ha !”

I carefully took out the two yellow covered drawing books Mm. Bhanu Jaya had sent over, in case I needed them. These were indispensable conversation fillers. No, they were conversation on their own. Unlimited places of discovery and tracing, re-tracing steps into yesterday, today… places we store within.

Babes you wanna  smile ? Don’t look so scared of me…”Where dear Lord had she learnt to speak that way ?

..Her eyes were oblong shimmering pieces of glass. The tears came an hour later, as the worst story I had heard up to that time spilled thru her long fingers systematically breaking up crayon, tearing pages, banging her head against the wall behind her, slamming the table into her ribs..Coffee time came and went. Mme Bhanu peeked in at the door and tiptoed away. By lunch hour there was that silence in the library with Giraffe grinning down at us :  the girl finally smiled thru her mascara streaked face.” Stop staring, willya ?”  ” You need all that make up ?”  ” Sure. U have a problem ?” Her tone was casual, as if she didn’t care.

I shrugged, Enough had been said. As we packed up to leave she said,  ” Know what Ms Ray ? U think they didn’t tell me nothn about you huh ? I do my homework darling…” She sounded like an older person, so much older than I was.She was warming up.

Hope

Hope (Photo credit: bitzcelt)

 “So, they tell me about you and your son and everything, and the reason why I shared some with you is that, see I need you to know this : I can help your son. Maybe just…talk you know. He don’t need Mama all  the time around him telling him to mind his manners see. Not that you mayn’t be a  grrrrreat Ma darlin. Wish I could come along to your place too see. And I mean like forevah. ..”

Did I imagine a catch in her throat. ” So. We help each other, k ? You teach me to paint. I teach your son to just walk without jumping.” It was business at its best. She was smiling at me like Kill. Then she leaned up real close and whispered, her voice was like razors rasping on stone.   Okay, don’t  freakn freak, k? Would you have a cig. Mom ? Shit no. Figured. Your face too virgin! U’ve been to nowhere the likes of me, Ray. Uhhh what I’d give for a smoke.”               

                                                                                    

She smiled gently and my heart broke.Angelina jolie

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( Truth as it hit me square in the jaw  :  There are things we  do not know. Not if we are of the  same culture, family, or Time zone… Or not. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

THIS IS AN ENDLESS POST !  MAY WISH TO LOOK AT THIS AS PAGE 2

II.

We worked together for two months.

Sureka is currently with people better skilled than I am to care for her  ; there is more to recovery than sweet words can do.

A family was willing to take her home and they did come to me for a while. They loved her they said and I pray every one concerned does their best. Waits for each other. Gets Help. Breathes. Doesn’t overload others with their baggage, if possible. Allowing each to bruise themself now and then, pick up their own pieces when they can. erggghhhh and yet !

Has Hobbies. Holidays. Is not afraid to walk alone. Tries new friends. And some caring friends. Even unusual types.

Gets an education. Does NOT believe every statistic; every thing they say, write, feel. Not even our own feelings. From old people /  the very young/  the ill/ folks who’ve been there and back. Get out of that shut in room, into the sunshine. Where there are people just like us. Or someone hoping we will drop by.

Get a life. A new Life ! Dress up ( gosh try ) at least once a week.Talk to a neighbour. esp someone we dislike. Be a little silly if we can help it. Make memories. Doesn’t take money to do all that. Go back to childhood, the things that we needed to be fulfilled :

hey we haven’t changed all that much, except that we forgot what we used to want. We changed with the Times, and the Ads that came with the times. We changed when we saw other peoples’ green fields and maybe began t blame our donkey for eatn up all our reserves. Maybe the donkey is the best thing that happened to us.

I have a donkey story that brought Bethlehem home and shall post one day. Am I rambling ? Yes I am. A Ramble is a virtual carefree walk thru the valley of the shadow of dreams and maybe despair.Maybe.                                                                                                                                             But once am thru, am hoping this will be useful.

Editorial Girly Pop // Verao 2012 @ Sul Fashio...

credit: HiperFashion Estúdio Criativo) this so looks like Sureka,just think 14..15, and 5'2" or less... Angelina J. I hope you don't mind this

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PAGE 3

The Mind is a Scarily fantastic place; we scream to be understood. Not just ” Challenged ” people,  Sureka : abandoned as a baby, foster homes, rape ; her too tight t-shirt and jeans falling right off her hip bones… What I can never forget is how she was with my little son who still hadn’t figured how to walk straight.   A blind hyperactive child, needs help with learning how to walk like others he cannot see. Head-banging Sureka would walk him up and down the stairs, run across the field… tell him he was sweet, she even told him his mother was pretty.Hey whatever that sounds like, up to that point I’d never thought Johann might want to know that detail.

” So, they tell me about you and your son and everything, and the reason why I shared some with you is that, see I need you to know this : I can help your son. Maybe just…talk you know. He don’t need Mama all  the time around him telling him to mind his manners see. Not that you mayn’t be a  grrrrreat Ma darlin. Wish I could come along to your place too see. And I mean like forevah. ..”

Cover of "Happy Feet (Full Screen Edition...

Cover of Happy Feet (Full Screen Edition)

Walking into other people’s lives is tricky business.

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Moment ( of Terrible-ness)  DON’T WANT TO CONFESS AM GOOFING THIS UP !!! 

Wish I  had some other kind of predictable existence. A 9-5 paid job, with annual holiday… anything but looking too deeply into anothers’ eyes. Uh. It’s a dangerous thing to dance with Stars. Ay can get hot. Is it ? Would I do this all over again ? No ?

Okay. Stay with Predictable ? The Safe and wise ? Not chase demons ? Where everything we learnt in college and backwards to kindergarten, Hymns/ Scripture/ Prayers/ Degree/ Work experience… ever acquired is put to test…?

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PAGE 4

Into the second month, one noon Sureka told me I was  ” %)(*&%^@”… and ” BJH*^&*%$ !!”.

Her   eyes were pools of pain, thru the medication and blue tinged marks in her skin. This was where angels would fear to tread. Could a prayer help? I came home and fell into my pillow.

JUST DO ONE THING AT  A TIME : DO WHAT YOU CAN DO.  The words grew louder and louder.They never left.They never will. Its a choice we make. To love, unconditionally.

Not just the officially  ” Challenged and handicapped ” of the Earth. But those that hurt children, or their parents. Those that would not stop to respect each others’ destiny. Those of us guilty of aborting each others’ missions. Guilty of Rage. It was seeping into me, from off her skin : after all I was doing for her, look at that face of ingratitude staring back at me,  Its Lips curled with a venom only known to the human race. So what if she had it bad ? I did too. Ah Rage, Pride, and the Outrage of not being said Thanks to ! A mega Burger dripping with the mayonnaise of Human Blindness.  I bite into it, relishing every bite.

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Later I would remember times when such rage from an older person, had shrivelled me up. Pathetic buds trapped in a winter that stole in too soon. Fields of rice crumpling up in thunder – happy monsoon. Christ must have shuddered. I’m not You, wish I could be, but am not. No patience of Job, no dare of Daniel, we just want normal existence and each of us have some happy moments to give back to the earth . Is that too much to ask… say ? He was not saying anything. It would come later. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

After I ached to give it back to her ; the hateful words spat out at me : the yearning to give right up and tell her she was hopeless and a freak! That she deserved what she got, cuz hey I saw what she did yesterday. There was cunning behaviour ; lies, manipulation… yeah yeah Iknow, the girl needed help H E L P… came back home and one of my own did a mean turn. I saw Sureka all over their face. So ! It was the way of humanity uh ? I mean just everybody go to h ….!!! Is what I wanted to say. Wanted to walk.   ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 ” U dont have to LOVE just yet. Just work thru this, if thats what you’re here to do.”

The words formed a sort of life jacket and pulled me thru that.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

LIBERATES ! When am ready to quit. It’s okay to take a break. Change course if need be, but where is this going ? Do I  love this ?  Never mind. Is it getting results ? If you love yourself,  never give up. Your friend , whatever it is that motivates.

It pays off. Has. In my home, and so many lives around and people I’ve constantly learned from. Me, I am  learning  from my mistakes. The errors of hot-tempered pepper head !  How many years of learning ahead ? Gettn tired of too much learning here. Yeah I know. We all know. Reality does n’t just bite its got sting tail and sweet social poison. Go out with your challenged kid, or a bunch of them, go on. Last time I pretended to be blind on a train… there were four fabulous people, and one that looked at me with such repulsion. and I can just remember that one face.. where was I  ?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ah. Dont have to Love just yet just work thru.

IF THAT IS  WHAT YOU’RE HERE TO DO. IF THAT’S YOUR CHILD IF THAT’S YOU IF THAT’S SOMEONE YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE WITH IF YOU CAN WALK AWAY, PLEASE DO, THERE’S PROBABLY BETTER HELP FOR THAT CHALLENGED PERSON THAN US ; HEY THEY KNOW WHEN THEY ARE BEING DISLIKED (DONT WE ALL? I’m feeling better : ( sometimes this : ” love your neighbour” command can run riots in our live cuz we didn’t take that second half of sentence into count , ” Love your neighbour as  much as you love yourself..”) ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

PAGE 5

She made me look in the mirror at my ‘ … face ” as  she called it.  Was an eye opener ‘ cuz she implied she had been thru much more pain than I could guess at. Uh huh  I hadn’t been abused that way, or made to live like a maid ; I hadn’t been repeatedly abused by Medical staff supposedly helping her. I hadn’t turned into such an Exhibitionist as she was now, though heaven knew I could but for the grace of God ; I was not an illegitimate citizen, no surname ; the ones she had borrowed for a while in foster care, stood cancelled. She gave herself all kinds of names. She fantasized, had dreams like every girl. About being somebody. Esp a Star.

I carefully hugged her and said, ” Baby girl, why not, why ever not ? Forgive those people who hurt you. Let go of that and we can get on with … plans. Dreams… ”

” Yes Aunty Ray, ” she said like a demure Lil Indian girl would ; the next day I got a card, ” I WILL TRY.” ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

III Love is an expensive thing; it can tear you apart. ( Still if one is  investing in another’s’ life, asking for nothing in return. … ? If the investment were your return, and would reap you a Harvest the likes of which  no human eye had ever seen, or heart conceived, nor enter into the mind of man, would you, go there ?)  Scary,but…

TO BE CONTD.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Last page here ?

curious giraffe is searching

curious giraffe is searching (Photo credit: harold.lloyd)Oh what a happy soul I am, Although I cannot see; I am resolved that in this world Contented I will be. How many blessings I enjoy, That other people don’t; To weep and sigh because I’m blind, I cannot, and I won’t.” Fanny Crosby blind songwriter, over 8000 songs.

Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee :

Beethoven’s great Ninth Symphony, “The Choral” 6 years to compose, totally deaf.  At the premier in 1824 the soloist had to turn the great man around to acknowledge the thunderous standing ovation, which he could not hear.

yeah tho’ I walk thru this duh ! valley of jumpetty shadows,I know there is so little I know /  so much more to understand ; that for every curse there is a blessing, and for every blessing, a rascal  telling  you you ‘re a curse to mankind  : ah  today, in the arms of the Unknown I have learnt a new song : a New Line, there is this  Letting go. Letting Life surprise us,  Lead us. To our Purpose in this World. There is not ONE SINGLE ONE OF US,  born without purpose.

If we think so, that is our loss. Our personal Tragedy. 

  • If you managed to read thru this entire Post and survived, am thrilled. I  thank you. ( Sorry again Edits still go haywire when ‘ published’, must get help. But thank you for putting up. Let me know if the black back ground makes for tough reads. Should I change Theme ? Say ? Have a great day..:)
  • Innerdialect.

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What did you think you were

Sooraj B

here there is need,

pain

hope

love

rejection

aspiration

cruelty

inner monsters

brilliant chaos

My sister Susie

joy

courage against all odd

peace in a storm

more storm

unjustified wrong

days of ” NEVER MIND”

silence

colours

Innersong.com Scott my awesome friend

success

hope

prayers

breaking faith

unbroken

Derk G. Wish I coul talk to you every dayyy

Fingers of God

friends

quietnesses

peace

rest

labour

Supriya what a beautiful girl you are !

beauty

respect

open doors

windows

skies

sunshine

starlight

dawn dusk

an appreciation of  Life.

… even self.

Gratitude

Esp Gratitude

for the Gift of Expression…

Dearest : everyone is an artist,

Abhrodeep M

what did you think you were..

a Stream in this desert,

of the River of Life..

That’s who you are,

 isn’t that nice ?

(if I’ve missed out on someone here, just say ; u’re there in my life, but say)

Vihann Noel Pictojournal 2012

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Careless words

Who’s to know



Who’s to know,you ask, thinking I cannot hear your mind.How could I not. Look at us, we are not ordinary beings in an ordinary set up. Look at that. Nothing beneath except molten sweating atmosphere .
I feel it, planet mass and ire
smelting staring at our reckless harvests

our silken garbage and culture clubs

embroidered with negligence;

sacred altars smeared with disregard for

each other’s offerings of Love:

Who’s to know,

you ask, thinking I cannot see your mind.

How could I not. Look at us, we are not ordinary beings

in an ordinary set up. Look at that.

Such a tiny planet, and humanity thinking

we have time and infinity to exhale being

ordinary, unlovable… spit fires and short-sighted

dwarf dragons ;

oh go  de- tox that need

if all you kiss is  hate.

………….

The Thinking Man sculpture at Musée Rodin in Paris

Image via Wikipedia

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